I Hate Christmas, Part 1
I need to buy a generic gift for the office Yankee swap on Thursday. At the moment I’m nearly homicidally irritated with half of my co-workers, and therefore not interested in giving any of them a gift, and friendly enough with the other half to know that they are dreading the swap just as much as I am. Blah, what to buy? At this point I think the default is food, although that just screams uninspired. Last year somebody tried the ultimate tacky move and unwrapped his own present. (Although he didn’t count on me taking it from him, heheh!) Hmph, I’m not feeling the holiday cheer over here. Christmas is such a pain in the ass. Well, except for the proliferation of chocolate. But I refuse to look for an upside while I’m in this cranky mood.
4 comments:
Yankee swap = lottery tickets or booze. Either choice is simple and foolproof. Good luck.
I almost went with booze, but there are some known teetotalers in the office. But I got a gift bottle of Canadian ice wine from one of my vendors today, so we'll all be cracking that open during the swap tomorrow. It'll ease the pain for whoever is unlucky enough to get the crappy homemade craft thing that one particular person always brings to these swaps!
At my office Secret Santa this year (no Yankee Swap), I got a Polo shirt, and thought, "OK, those aren't my colors, but it's a nice shirt." Then I looked closer. It was a Large.
Now, Marika, having seen me in person, even that one time, an intelligent person such as yourself would know that there is no way that I, at 6'2 and carrying a gut, can possibly wear a Large.
That, coupled with the fact that the package was in a box but not wrapped tells me just how much thought this person put into it.
The best Secret Santa gift I ever got was a copy of How To Win Friends And Influence People. Yes, it was meant as a gag. I loved it.
Dude, that polo shirt gift is weak. Secret Santa is a whole other circle of hell that is way worse than gift swaps. Then you know it's personal that you've gotten a shitty gift!
By the way, I should update to say that I ended up with the novel I, Claudius in our Yankee swap. Thank goodness someone keeps bringing books every year. And the ice wine was good : hic :
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